i haven't blogged in like forever, But anyways, heres the dealio. for a REALLY long time, i was so sick of being single ya know? i was so sick of it that i was constantly waiting for guys, and then i got sick of that too. idk how to explain it, but i was constantly confused, and unhappy. anyways, i just decided that love and me didn't mix well together. but then it happened. im not saying im in love, because im not, i just realized that if i actually wanted to be with a guy who i liked, i had to work for it. and now looking back on it, it seems crazy. That's another thing, i always think "what if".I'll come back to that later, anyways, i was just thinking "what if, i didn't call him" would we still be where we are today? it's crazy to think that ONE PHONE CALL could of sparked everything, and in a way i guess it did. i always think what if, even now, even when im with him. its not like im thinking of ditching him, to go for that other guy, but im just thinking, what if i called that other guy, OR what if i REALLY TRIED to get that other guy? i wouldn't be with him. i dont even know if this is making sense, but this is what's going on in my head. Anyways, i always think what if. like what if i went out with him? would we still be friends? would he of played me? or what if my friends didn't push me to like him? would i have fallen for him by myself? and what if i didn't keep telling myself that "he was my type of guy"? because i honestly dont think i have a type of guy. My point is, that it's crazy that ONE THING could change everything, what if she didn't do that, what if she didnt tell me? would i have still called him? i guess that's why life's so mysterious, you never know what could happen. it's like, there is a plan for you, but there really isn't ya know. it's like you have a starting out plan, but as you make decisions, your plan changes; it's never ending. But it really is fascinating, because, if your parents or your friends were different, you would be different too, and then there you go, your plans changed too.// wow, i changed topics fast, but i think i have an over thinking problem. if that's possible. Back to my first statement, i didnt think me and love worked, because all my friends had a guy, and i didn't. i thought, maybe i was pretty enough or cool enough, when i should have been thinking maybe im not ready, maybe love isn't in my plan yet. my point is, i shouldn't of felt depressed because i couldn't get some stupid guys i kept waiting on, i'd find a guy, when i found a guy. but even that brings me back to what if, because what if i did a million things different, i could of ended up with some other guy sooner- so does that mean we really do have a plan, because i didn't do a million things different. Regardless, IM HAPPY. like LEGITIMATELY happy. i don't think i have a type of guy, i just wanted someone who loved me, for me. because i know im weird and bi polar and lame and im not the prettiest, but i know that when i fall in love, none of that's going to matter, its just a matter of am i actually happy with this person? can i be myself with this person?// so yea, that's what going on in my head.. :D
This post will be pretty much like the last post.
blaaaah. i need to escape, and figure things out.
i dont know what i think anymore.
blah. i dislike mixed feelings.
one thing
giving up,
starting over,and,
romanceall have in common.
they all suck.
okaay, so today we had the literacy test, HOLY BALLS EASY. i mean you can only fail if you're a complete idiot. -.-" after the test, skipped third and fourth and went to Samantha's. it was raining and gross, so it was blaah day. :T Ryan made me a Go Radio CD. they are quite fantastic (: thaaanks Ryan LOOL.
Anyways, I've been thinking a lot lately, and like, you know when you tell yourself you want to let go, and move on, but deep down you really know that you dont want to move on? yea that's how i feel :T. like blaaah since when were guys wonderful?
" since civics class." Blah. i honestly give up on love, like officially. because it never goes my way. Maybe i over think everything i don't know, but i thought things were getting better. And i HATE how everyone gets my hopes up, and not just everyone but even me. i KNOW ill regret it later, but its so nice to give into good thoughts rather then the negative ones.. but i think
MAYBE, were all just acting really stupid here, and
MAYBE everyone wants us together soo much that were all getting ahead of ourselves, and
MAYBE, were ignoring the fact that
HE JUST DOESN'T LIKE ME. i don't think I'm being negative, i'm being realistic.
mmonicaa says:
):
тanyaa says:
whaat?
mmonicaa says:
nevurmoind. i just liked the thought of you guysh
тanyaa says:
so your agreeing with me then.
and i liked the thought of us too..
Oh haaay thuur.
did i ever mention that
Marianas Trench is my
FAVOURITE BAND because if i didn't i should have.
they re honestly my life. which is sad but they're amazing. but basically i wanted to blog about their new video celebrity status because
HOLY BALLS it was amazing. and i know I'm bias but it was funny, and
HOLY CRAP JOSH RAMSAY IS A SEXY BEAST.and even though I'm more of a Josh girl, lemme' tell you.
MATT WEBB .. *drools*. it was filled with spoofs and just hilariousness, just regular trench <3 anyways, i just wanted to blog about that. also today we had a lock down at school.. again LOL some IDIOT brought a BB gun to school like FOR SERIOUS. reaaly? sometimes i wonder. we also had stations of the cross, which was amazing some Beatles and John Lennon songs were played.. LOL ALSO, they played waving flag, and i spazzed because Josh Ramsay is in that LOL I'm so lame. so yea that was today. you know, for a short week, it feels like forever. (N)
Okay three things.
1)Josh Ramsay has the prettiest blue eyes.
2) Mike Ayley makes an..interesting woman
3) Josh can work a stache. <3
mkaay, so lets rewind a little to wednesday. because thats when some SHIZ went down. so Bianca, Hazel Andrea and I went to some YOUTH MAKING A DIFFERENCE workshop. so it was basically a bunch of people talking to a bunch of students on how they can help change the world and such (y) it twas pretty cool i must say. anyways, besides speakers they had a band (Fair child) so they preformed at my elementary school like two years ago so i was like " OH LETS GO WATCH THEM" and we did and im not going to lie they fully loved me cuz i was just like " YEAA YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME" while everyone else was ignoring them and eating. and then they mentioned they played with Marianas Trench and i was like YEAA THATS MY BAND ! and the guitarist was soo nice because they were deciding on a song to play and he was like "sing this" and the lead singer was like " but idk the words" and me and bianca were like " OH WELL HELP YOU" and then they started to play ALL TO MYSELF. because they knew i liked Marianas Trench.they were ever so nice. honestly made my day. we also got there autographs, which wasnt "increda lame" but "flattering" <3 did i mention they were super nice ? :D yep it was a good day. thursday was un eventful and today some losers i call friends came over we talked ate and watched beauty and the beast :D <3
so Ive noticed that I'm blogging a lot recently, mostly because I'm super bored.. LOL
anyways, today is the last day of March break (N) gosh it went by too fast ! but on the plus side, i did something everyday and i got my shoooees! so that's all that matters (:
uuugghh i really don't want to go to school tomorrow T_T I think I'll die from being so tired. anyway, today i went to samanthas house, aline and patrick were there, we were just chillin' ate some chili and cheesecake mmm <3 Yesterday, aline, christina and jackie came over and we watched the box.
STUPIDEST MOVIE OF LIFE like it could of been good, but then they killed it. it was honestly soo brutal. :T
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn9-e9J1pWA <- watch that i think its soo funny :$
"don't rush me, i payed my fifteen fee, I'll take my time gosh darn it."
"Describe your perfect honeymoon.""it would be with my wife.
wait waitit would be with you." <3
Hi, Hello.
Tanya.Fifteen years of age. Music and friends are my life I am Canadian,happy,inspired, and a wishful thinker. (: Marianas Trench,The Beatles,City and Colour,Relient K,Nirvana,Nevershoutnever,Mitchell Davis,JRMAMWIC,Michael Cera,Ellen Page.<3 This is ME.TAKE IT or LEAVE IT.enjoy the stories of my days :D.
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