i haven't blogged in like forever, But anyways, heres the dealio. for a REALLY long time, i was so sick of being single ya know? i was so sick of it that i was constantly waiting for guys, and then i got sick of that too. idk how to explain it, but i was constantly confused, and unhappy. anyways, i just decided that love and me didn't mix well together. but then it happened. im not saying im in love, because im not, i just realized that if i actually wanted to be with a guy who i liked, i had to work for it. and now looking back on it, it seems crazy. That's another thing, i always think "what if".I'll come back to that later, anyways, i was just thinking "what if, i didn't call him" would we still be where we are today? it's crazy to think that ONE PHONE CALL could of sparked everything, and in a way i guess it did. i always think what if, even now, even when im with him. its not like im thinking of ditching him, to go for that other guy, but im just thinking, what if i called that other guy, OR what if i REALLY TRIED to get that other guy? i wouldn't be with him. i dont even know if this is making sense, but this is what's going on in my head. Anyways, i always think what if. like what if i went out with him? would we still be friends? would he of played me? or what if my friends didn't push me to like him? would i have fallen for him by myself? and what if i didn't keep telling myself that "he was my type of guy"? because i honestly dont think i have a type of guy. My point is, that it's crazy that ONE THING could change everything, what if she didn't do that, what if she didnt tell me? would i have still called him? i guess that's why life's so mysterious, you never know what could happen. it's like, there is a plan for you, but there really isn't ya know. it's like you have a starting out plan, but as you make decisions, your plan changes; it's never ending. But it really is fascinating, because, if your parents or your friends were different, you would be different too, and then there you go, your plans changed too.// wow, i changed topics fast, but i think i have an over thinking problem. if that's possible. Back to my first statement, i didnt think me and love worked, because all my friends had a guy, and i didn't. i thought, maybe i was pretty enough or cool enough, when i should have been thinking maybe im not ready, maybe love isn't in my plan yet. my point is, i shouldn't of felt depressed because i couldn't get some stupid guys i kept waiting on, i'd find a guy, when i found a guy. but even that brings me back to what if, because what if i did a million things different, i could of ended up with some other guy sooner- so does that mean we really do have a plan, because i didn't do a million things different. Regardless, IM HAPPY. like LEGITIMATELY happy. i don't think i have a type of guy, i just wanted someone who loved me, for me. because i know im weird and bi polar and lame and im not the prettiest, but i know that when i fall in love, none of that's going to matter, its just a matter of am i actually happy with this person? can i be myself with this person?// so yea, that's what going on in my head.. :D
Hi, Hello.
Tanya.Fifteen years of age. Music and friends are my life I am Canadian,happy,inspired, and a wishful thinker. (: Marianas Trench,The Beatles,City and Colour,Relient K,Nirvana,Nevershoutnever,Mitchell Davis,JRMAMWIC,Michael Cera,Ellen Page.<3 This is ME.TAKE IT or LEAVE IT.enjoy the stories of my days :D.
.